Rock

Died On This Date (April 28, 2008) Roger Waters’ PIG

themusicsover April 28, 2010 No Comments

Pig
January 23, 1977 – April 28, 2008

The now-infamous flying Pig that was mistakenly unleashed during Roger Waters’ Coachella Music Festival set is dead. In typical rock star fashion, the once bloated Pig’s life came to a tragic end near the grounds of his favorite desert oasis, the Hideaway Country Club. Rumors that the Hideaway Country Club is actually a detox facility have been squashed by local caddies. In one of the most horrific deaths in rock ‘n’ roll history, Pig’s body was mysteriously severed in two by an unknown assailant in what appeared to be a horrific Holiday Feast fashion. Though reminiscent of the Black Dahlia murders of late ’40s Los Angeles, no word yet if James Ellroy has been brought in to investigate. Parts of Pig’s butchered body were discovered and tossed into the dumpster by a Steve Stoltz (La Quinta) who later gathered the remains in order to collect the $10,000 and 4 Coachella tickets for life offered by the festival. In a shocking testament to Pig’s bloated condition at the end of his life, wife Susan Stoltz told Reuters, “We didn’t even know what it was then, but that’s all I hear about now.” In a startling twist, neighbor Judy Rimmer (La Quinta) found additional remains in her driveway. And even though the reward specified the “safe return” of Pig, both parties will share the prize.  Born with the 1977 release of Pink Floyd’s Animals, Pig led a storied life. He lent backing vocals to and appeared on the cover of the Animals album, and later graced the front of subsequent remix and anniversary packages, t-shirts, DVDs and key chains. He even spent some time as a body-paint model, once posing for a painting that famously appeared on the back of a nude woman (see below). And although Pig was celebrated at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, his biggest honor came when he appeared on the April 19, 1996 episode of The Simpsons. But times got hard on Pig when Pink Floyd went their separate ways, forcing him to live off the fat he collected during his glory years of the ’70s, ’80s and early ’90s. Years of drugged out swinging with that inflatable teacher from The Wall was soon replaced by a life of avoiding the inevitable luau. But the new millennium saw things pick up for Pig as Roger Waters began introducing him to a brand new audience. Theater shows became arena shows. Then came his triumphant Hollywood Bowl show in June of 2007. Pig was back. And less than a year later, Waters was ready to take him to the next level…the super-alternative rock festival in the desert of California, the mecca that is called Coachella, where the world’s alterna-youth come together to celebrate all that is music. It is a culture that is a far cry from Pig’s lazy days of floating over the dilapidated factories of England. And sadly it was too much too fast, so Pig did like so many aging fat rock stars before him, he sought the solace of the one place he didn’t fit in, the golf course. It was here that Pig’s revived dreams came crashing down to earth as this noble beast was deflated like the ego of a once great rock star. He was 31.

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